You are viewing [info]hopelessdreamr's journal

A · look · into · my · fishbowl · world


The daily grind. thoughts + words. i bleed through the keys

Recent Entries · Archive · Friends · User Info

* * *
i dont know much anymore,
i went to sirens festival that was lovely.
iv been called, left voicemail and texted and said i was cute this week by jason shaw... the highest paid male model in history/ paris hiltons ex fiance pre sex tapes


iv been in the city a lot
i love working for matador
everythings fallen apart
yet so much is finnally goin into place
i got an apartment in boston starting august first
iv made a new amazing girlfriend, but feel like i have lost a lot too.
i need to stop living up to my repuation before it exceeds itself.
i need to stop obsessing over certain things about myself
i need to be healthy
i got a new tattoo

im not going to africa anymore but to CA on the 18th of aug and maine next weekend and possibly fischers island.
im looking forward to being back at school iv talked a lot recently to tom, and cameron, and shane and its making me wanna be back.
i hate harbor lights quitting is in as of the 8th last day
tjs 21 is the 3rd. intense
we( me vi lizzy and ben) got into marquee.. like one of nycs top top clubs.. for free.. and got to go in the vip/ private party section.
my lifes slowly spinning and i am not sure who is in control.
* * *
let's kiss the clock
lean around this town
inches awaiting
fast paced oblivion
im sealed unto
its a crash course of self control
i have lost what it seems to be
and all i have ever really had,
ill slumber away these days
sweet suburbia
just let me take you away.

--------------------------------------------------------------

* * *
lately everything in my life is much easier done than said out loud.
* * *
Tonight is just a little bit lighter
just a little bit brighter
i'll trail off into the darkness
taking this vowe of silence to my lips
against your words
disguised to my ears, proccessed
recycled
grasping the few bones left.
illumination came through the sky
from the passenger side
from the roof next door
drenched in smoke
as i swerve up the hill
seeminly forever cattycorner
to this moon, the sun, these stars.
im forever yours, but only mine.
clasped to these grates
sunken in and typecast
to a role i have become
much to
obliged to be.
* * *
heels up and heads down
nothing, nothing can turn this around
chapped lips and sweet lies
i can keep this going
stay just a bit to strong
its about pretty hips
and quick wits
bite down my tongue
bound and barred
i am silenced for more than this
the warm sun still leaves me frozen
all sides
collapsed in a pile on the floor.


------------------------------------------------------------------

so its been officially summer for about a week. i miss boston uuuber much but homes been fun
chilling with jen vi steve dave craig giron and chris mostly cause thats all thats been home.
its so nice to be back just straight chilling with everyone although things with dave are not to exactly my liking but its straight. and being with jen and vi again is lovelyyy <33 katy karr call me please!


i got my internship!!! i officially work for matador records( belle and sebastion, pretty girls make graves, interpol, ect) im soo stoked ill be there 2 or 3 days a week plus my sister is gave me a room and a key to her apartment in soho. tight as hell.


it feels like my life is comming together and falling apart all at the same time, its a bit too intense.

im going to dominican republic with my dad on thursday to sun.. iv never been away with him before im kinda, i mean extremly, scared.


hmmm
oh well i guess thats really all an update

i need a job, maybe american apparel

pz fuckerz
* * *
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

are we really almost half out of college.
i still dont have an apartment

im officially the president of Wax on Felt Records and at the "hand me down" night (like prom but school org presidents hand down presidencys and give awards walk on stage ect. dinner danceing) we caught our table on fire. sweet deal hahhaha

call it arson canceled on me for playing that show on wed. fuck brian. i still wanna go on the 26th in ct and see him and SAY HI TO YOUR MOM yesssss. im freaking out i hope people come its a benefit for its madd $$ so most ppl dont want to. meh.
IF YOUR READING THIS AND IN BOSTON AREA> COME k thanks

the show last week went really well i was there from 3- 1 am.i did loadin, sstage setup, setup, then told the bands when to go on off, when to get ready, and basically was running around like a crazy and did everything. i loved it though. the music industry has my heart and its freaking great. I HOPE I GET THE MATADOR INTERNSHIP THIS SUMMER!

this weekend was isabelles cousins bar mitzfa aka drunk with her fam and temple and dancing and TOOOO MUCH FOOD. i adore her siblings. it was quite fun actually and made me kinda wish i was religious, or at least not ignorant about it all. teach me?

me and charlie last weekend had a really long drunk convo on are lack of beliefs and what we do buy into and dont and such it was really movie esk and cute just us two for hours talking in a little pizza place drunk as hell haha. ill miss him this summer.

speaking of which summer in 7 days. holy fucking crap.

420 was quite lovely i must say me elsa isa emily padge and sean smoked up then me and isa went to elsa where more pppls were and weed. haha it was marvolous. im getting a good group of girls to befriend and i like it

i wish there was more time before the end of the yr. aahhhh no apartment and like 8648484 i want to chill with but wont be able to. stupid exams.



CANT WAIT FOR SUMMER IN THE 203 THOUGH WITH my boys and girls. ahhhhhhhh yesss.


i shhhouuuuld go study boo
* * *
The crack in the window pane
sheds a crease of light
folding over the wooden beams
glittering color around the walls
brining it all back to life
expose me for what i am worth
what i can never be
or really am.
dig through each layer of skin
covered bone
lets just kiss
not a single word
drowned syllabals
pushed back by tongues.
we can sit in silence
hand by hand knee to knee
I won't bother to care
if you never ask.
my skin pulled tight around my frame.

------------------------------------------------

So iv been too busy for life recently but not work although i have a SHITLOAD and like2 weeks left to do it in.4 day weekend sweetness. wish i could go home and see VI AND TJ THOUGH!! boo to no cash flow. I hate running into boys when i look like shit. that always occurs.

last night was WECB battle of the bands. pretty good. a good punk band one took me back to highschool days.The night before that was catholic school girl party with corinna and we went with shane and alon. We the it girls of harvard secret socities, hahaha the pics are ridic.


me and corinna waiting for the T. story of my liife


meee

the bathroom there

corinna!

weeeell thats all for now tonights an INDEFINITE ARTICLE SHOW hahaha
then easter dinn at Emilys in hingham on sun with isa and yuri
and chillin with charlie at some point, maybe braindan and lucas too,

and oh so much hw

boo

pz fuckerz


pps. CT I LOVE YOU less than 20 dayyys
* * *
The warmth leaks through the concrete
its a beat of rymth
nothing but a two step of words
shadowed motions under this light
* * *
so went home this past weekend
wentto nyc saw a great photo exhibit with jen, shopped, and saw my sis
saw dave friday night it was quite lovely, aliens and asthma attacks =)

sat wentto the dads, now africa thissummers in august with ALICIA KEYES, damn straight
got my cuzzy and we made bannana bread and cookies

then sunday came back early and saw cait and her dad

this week 3 ppl died at my school in a construction accident, i was going to be in the spot it happened at that time but stayed in the library by chance even though i wasnt going to and so wasnt.. creepy? yes and like classes were evacuated, the street was closed, it was pretty gruesome and really shook me up. i still cant walk under it.

it made me realize you really can die so easily, and that whether we think or want to realize it we are gaurenteeed to die.

i have an interview with matador!

i need to do work.

ill do a real update later.

ps. looking at apartments on fri
weekend should be fun!
* * *
i can no longer count my shadows.
i dont know what im trying to prove
or what i am doing anymore.

this weeks too busy.

Current Music:
elliot smith
* * *

Previous